If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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