I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
