Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
