I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
