I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Dicks are not precious.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
