omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
