what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
