Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Randomize
