Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
