I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
