She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
