i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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