I need to stop coming to work sober
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize