no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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