He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
