i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
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