So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
