The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
