walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
