i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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