After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
bring money and cleavage
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
