So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
