last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
