What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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