dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
