Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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