Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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