The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
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