You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
