I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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