guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Randomize
