I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Moan for me like Helen Keller
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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