please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
