I want to stick my p in your. b.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I have post one night stand depression
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