I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
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