I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
