Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
pray to the hookup gods
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
