you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
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