jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
