Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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