Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
