I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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