Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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