yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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