Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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