best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
