She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
