Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
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It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
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I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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