I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
40s are totally the cure
If I die, sorry about rent.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
