I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
