before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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