i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
