I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
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