Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
babies were throwing up all over the place
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
