U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
