I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
someone owes me an orgasm
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
