Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
