YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Randomize
