Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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