Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
