Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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