I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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