Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He passed out mid-signature
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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